Leap
by Alluring Masquerade
Summary: Kathryn is a young woman determined to move on from the past and reclaim a future on her own terms. Landing aboard the Enterprise is only the beginning. Rating will likely progress to M as story unfold
1. Prologue

Kathryn Page, Katie to the few her knew her best, had always been a girl who knew what she wanted in life. No, perhaps that wasn't the way to define it. Katie did, however, know exactly what she _did not_ want in life. All it took were a few quick flashes of her past, and the girl knew that though most of her destiny was a matter of give or take...she would never return to the place she'd called home for the past year. It had hardly been terrible, but now, with only an empty house to return to...why bother?

It had begun some twenty-three years ago, on the eve of a star's death, or so her father - ever the avid astronomer had said. While most were out celebrating (as it was also mere hours before the New Year), Edwin Turner had rushed his young wife Emily to the nearest hospital and set up camp with his six year old son Ben as they awaited the arrival of their newest kin. At exactly one minute after midnight, Kathryn had entered into a strange new world, peering up at the doctors with a shock of flame red hair and the most piercing blue eyes anyone had ever seen. Approximately two minutes after midnight, Edwin held his daughter to his breast and murmured a sentence that hovered almost prophetically over the young infant.

"_Katie, my love...I can't shake the feeling you're going to be something very special."_

Indeed, Katie had progressed into a strikingly beautiful young girl full of talent and potential. Both she and her brother excelled in their schooling and extra activities, and when their father accepted a job at Starfleet during Katie's twelfth year, she had had a unique knack for fitting in around the campus despite her young age. Her brother soon left for college leaving Katie to flourish amongst the academic culture. She had managed to graduate at 16 and completed her initial Fleet training three years later, much to the pride of her parents. An additional three years later she finished medical training, and her family was delighted to hear she had been accepted on as a doctor. Their celebration, however, was meant to be short lived.

Driving home after a family meal, her parents collided with another vehicle, and, in an instant, everything changed. How Katie had managed to survive was beyond her comprehension, and in truth, most of the accident was a haze. A few bursts of searing light, lingering phantom pain across the shoulder that had been completely shattered, the sound of her mother weeping, then the utter silence that had hung until the darkness closed upon her mind. She woke days later surrounded by medical personnel and a figure that seemed oddly familiar. Later, she discovered that the mysterious being was Vulcan professor at the academy. He had discovered the wreckage and was largely responsible for her survival. The information was instantly forgotten once she received word of her parent's death. For days she sat silent, refusing to converse with anyone. Once or twice, she'd been told that her rescuer had come to speak with her, but the pain of her loss was too fresh, and Katie turned him away with a stubborn anguish.

Two months later, she was well enough to leave the medical ward, and when Ben offered her a place to stay, Katie hadn't blinked twice. She left everything she owned behind, and when they finally arrived at her brother's home a week later, the would-be doctor locked herself in her new room and wept.

Now, twelve months later, Kathryn sat with her feet dangling of the edge of the cliff she'd claimed here in the dark. No, she wasn't going back 'home'. Not to the home Ben had shared with her so graciously. When he returned home from his latest government endeavor the following day, he'd receive the written explanation Katie knew he'd think was long overdue. Her brother had told her graciously every night, when he held her and helped the tears dry, that she was made for more than this. That she was made to be more than a broken doll. As much as she'd hated him for telling the truth, Kathryn knew he was right. A year in solace was a waste if nothing could come of it. She had spent the last week thinking of where she could go, what she could do, and as much as the answer haunted her, she knew it was the only one.

Starfleet.

No, she wasn't going back to rectify the past; the past was something she had no dominion over. Katie was going back to blaze a future; A future devoid of pity and apathy. All it took was a phone call, and Katie had packed up what little she had acquired and had promised to be on the next shuttle back to the academy. Now, looking down at the pit below her, a wry smile crossed her lips. Once, years earlier, she'd asked Ben how you knew if you were making the right decision. His answer had been so earnest that even now it warmed her heart.

"_Well, Katie...Sometimes you don't. Sometimes you make it the right decision. Sometimes...you just...leap."_

A black car kicked up dust in the night as it sped towards blinking lights in the distance. Some miles away, a rugged man entered into the kitchen of his surprisingly empty home. His voice echoed off the walls, ceasing as he stumbled upon a sheet of white against the counter. His lips pulled into a smile.

_You were right. Sometimes, you just have to leap._


	2. Confrontation

**Hi Guys!**

**Thanks so much for all of your encouragement! Keep the reviews rolling in! As some of you may have noticed, I did change the main character's name...let me know if you like it, or if I should change it back.  
**

**As with last chapter, I own nothing within the Star Trek Universe, and am only borrowing it.**

**The following chapter takes place _Three Years After_ the prologue, which is approximately _Two Years_ after the events of the movie.**

**Enjoy!**

**-AM  
**

_Three Years Later _

"Now, Mr. Scott, if you'll kindly refrain from using _excessive_ pyrotechnics in any future demonstrations, I think I can safely assure you the students will be just as enthused with your display." Kathryn winked coyly at the Scotsman sitting before her on the med table.

"Aye, lassie. I just wanted to show them that the real stuff is far more interestin' than the bollocks they put in the books!"

At this, the young doctor merely laughed and shook her head, sending a cascade of red waves swaying gently from their confine. "As valiant a reason as any, however, next time I'd appreciate it if you didn't send me half the front row with minor shrapnel wounds." Pausing to look up from the thin bandage she'd been diligently winding around the elder man's hand, she smiled softly at the sheepish look upon Scotty's face. Though she was half teasing the man, Katie couldn't help but find herself amused by the nature of his injuries. Usually, it was the first year students who entered into her office after setting something ablaze, not senior officers.

"Er, yeah...sorry 'bout that." The Scot nervously rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. "You're not gonna give me an extra injection or anything, right?"

Satisfied with her wrap job, Kathryn raised herself slowly from her stool and turned to scribble on her patient's chart, momentarily ignoring his question. "Of course not." Though her tone was completely formal, the mischievous smirk upon her alabaster features alluded to her understanding of the inquiry's origin. "You may inform Mr. Kirk that despite his rather transparent flirtation, the so-called "extra" injection he received was purely the result of his avoidance of basic medical procedures, and nothing more." Rummaging through the nearest drawer, Katie retrieved a small tube of gel and handed it to the engineer. "Put this on the burn before bed, and you should notice a complete recovery by tomorrow. If it's still there by the end of the week, consult either myself or one of the other doctors-"

_/Doctor Page, your presence is requested in surgery/_

The robotic female's overhead announcement cut her advice short. Smiling apologetically, Katie sighed. "If you'll excuse me, I do have to prep for an operation." Turning to the nearest attendant, the doctor relayed final orders before sweeping into the hallway towards her ordered destination.

Scotty took this as his cue to leave, and hopped swiftly off the med table to join Jim Kirk in the opposite hall. The Scotsman felt a smile part his lips as he took in the firm scowl planted upon the Captain's face.

"Aw, cheer up, Jim. She's not that bad. Besides, she called me valiant!"

* * *

Clad in scrubs, Kathryn began her final brief with her surgical team. "The patient is in stable condition?" A nod from her head nurse confirmed the question. "Good." Gone was the usual friendly bedside manner, replaced with a stoic face of determination. Since returning to the academy to work as an onsite doctor three odd years ago, Kathryn had only performed a handful of surgeries. Though a thoroughly competent doctor, she had always felt more at home with the more basic clinical procedures. However, this specific patient held a unique place in Kathryn's heart, and when the young girl had requested that she operate on her, the woman's sympathy towards her plight hadn't allowed her to decline.

"Right, now, I know you are all aware of the nature of her condition," Pausing to focus as one of the attendants aided her in pulling on a smock, she continued, "When we begin the incision, I need you to be as diligent as possible at reducing blood loss-"

For the second time that afternoon, Kathryn found herself interrupted.

"Any particular reason you're focusing on what should be standard procedure?"

Spinning roughly on her heels, Kathryn met the intrusive male voice with a look of angered surprise barely muted by her mask.

"Who are you?" In a split second, she held up a hand to silence the answer beginning to usher from his lips. "You know what? I don't care. Get out." Blue eyes flashed dangerously making it clear that this was no suggestion.

"I'm a doctor, I was granted permission to observe this operation by-"

All five feet and four inches of Kathryn took two very heavy steps forward, landing her directly in front of the significantly taller man. Her sudden change in position, paired with her hostile body language stopped his sentence dead. Four pairs of female eyes locked in on the intruder, and the head doctor lowered her hand slowly before speaking again.

"I don't care who you are, and what bumbling idiot gave you permission to oversee a procedure without my knowledge." The man almost took a step back as the overwhelmingly smoldering blue eyes bored into his. "Leave now, or I will personally escort you." Had the venom in her words not tarnished the statement, her beauty may have made the challenge intriguing.

A hint of southern accent tore into his startled retort. "Are you threatening me?"

"Get. Out!"

Cursing under his breath, Leonard threw the smock he had claimed against the nearest wall, spun on his heel and exited the operating room. Exhaling slowly, his ejector released the built up tension from her muscles, shook her head and turned her attention back to her team and patient.

"I apologize for you all having to witness that."

Aligning herself with her patient, Kathryn took half a second to clear her head of any lingering frustration and extended a hand over the sleeping body.

"Scalpel." The metallic device reached her palm, and the rest of the surgery progressed as planned.

* * *

_**I know you guys are probably waiting for her to get all Enterprised, and don't worry...it'll happen sooner than later. I just want to make sure I give myself enough time to get you guys acquainted with her before all of the **__**real**_ _**fun takes place. **_

_**Don't forget to review! :)  
**_


	3. Propositions

_**Since I was in a writing mood today, Here's chapter 3**_

_**Please continue to review. It's what makes this process exciting for me as a writer!**_

_**-AM  
**_

Six hours later, a now off-duty Kathryn found herself sluggishly trudging back to her quarters. Her body ached, and pleaded with each movement for a reprieve, and the doctor fully intended to give in; as soon as she reached her room, she'd take a boiling hot shower, and whatever came next didn't matter. That is, as long as it didn't involve accident-prone cadets, or an intrusive stranger.

The wry smile that had perked at the first notion quickly vanished with the second. She felt her already tense shoulders clench further and sighed while keying in the code to her room. The door retreated with a swish, and Kathryn entered, thoroughly lost within the thoughts that had begun to swirl around her head.

_The nerve it must take for someone to just enter into an operating room without even introducing himself prior. I can't believe he'd just waltz in there and think I'd be perfectly fine with some random stranger standing around._ The doctor shook her head to the audience of her empty room. "Seriously, who the fuck does that?" The empty question reverberated off the walls and bounced back to the inquirer._ Hell if I know. Even if that hadn't been a special circumstance procedure, whoever authorized him should have asked me in advance. I'll have to address the issue with the department head later. _

Kathryn could feel an air of frustration sweeping through her being. Closing her eyes, she once again shook her head and took a deep breath before exhaling slowly.

_Katie, calm down. Yes, the guy shouldn't have barged in. But, if he legitimately thought you knew...he wasn't totally in the wrong. Either way, you probably shouldn't have bitten his head off. _

This understanding did not immediately relieve the irritation that lingered regarding the incident. Standing still for a few moments, Kathryn waited until she felt her emotions slowly settle to a frazzled normal. Yes, the situation would need to be addressed—likely with an apology on her part towards the man, but for now, she'd just have to take it in stride.

Her eyes flickered open, and the sight of her personal space offered a whisper of comfort to her frayed nerves. When she'd returned to the academy, she'd been secretly pleased to find that the wing her family had once inhabited had been demolished in favor of expansion. She lived now in a section reserved for faculty and higher staff members. Her room was surprisingly large for one person, and truth be told, Kathryn often pondered if the excess area was lost on her appreciation. Yes, she had decorations, the odd picture here and there. A few old paintings she'd worked on as a young student; things that while homely, did nothing to save the fact that she very rarely had others over to enjoy their beauty. Hell, with her schedule _she_ barely had time to enjoy them. Kathryn was by no means antisocial, but ever since her return she'd found a solace in working. In working _hard_.

Yes, though many attempted to sway her to take a few extra days to adjust after her arrival, Kathryn had refused the invitation and had dove into her surroundings. Despite the occasional feeling of déjà vu, Katie had felt at home. Diving in not only allowed her to catch up quickly, but it allowed her to set the pace she would follow from then on out on her own terms. As the head physician had told Admiral Pike the morning he'd come to check in on her, _"She's not settling in, Admiral. She's taking the campus by storm"._

Yes, Admiral Pike had apparently smiled at the remark. But, he hadn't let Katie push her own limits for long. He had been one of her father's closest friends during Edwin's time at the academy, and had essentially served as a quasi godfather to her. He was the first and only person Kathryn had contacted during her time away from the academy. She remembered the conversation as though it had been yesterday.

"_Katie?" _

_A male voice couldn't hide its surprise on the other end of the line and a forehead wrinkled in concern.  
_

"_I need...I need to get out of here." Her voice cracked with emotion. There was something so wildly desperate in the plea that it seared his core.  
_

"_What can I do to help?" There was no judgment in the question._

"_I, Chris, I need to come back. I can't spend the rest of my life out in some desert pretending like it's going to make the pain go away. I just, I want to start where I left off. It's the only thing that would make them proud."_

"_Let me see what I can do."_

Pike had her on a shuttle back to the academy two days later. The moment she'd arrived, he'd guided her to her new quarters and informed her, in the matter-of-fact way that belonged exclusively to the Starfleet recruiter that it was her reputation that had given her the job, not his interference.

"_Believe it or not, Kathryn, there's quite a few of us around here that believe in new beginnings. Starfleet Academy is more than happy to have one its former students back."_

The memory made the doctor smile. Crossing the room into her true sanctuary, her bedroom, Kathryn began what was a rather quick process of undressing before grabbing a robe and placing it over her nude figure. She could feel her muscles begin to tense beneath the soft material, anticipating the warm water before she even reached her bathroom. Once inside, the redheaded young woman quickly shed her robe, and hopped inside her shower allowing herself to become lost in the retreat offered by pulsating tides of water that washed away the tension of the day with each passing moment.

* * *

"_Incoming Transmission!"_

Kathryn sighed as she slid the over-shirt of her off-duty uniform over her slender frame and made her way over to the console.

"Computer, identify source of transmission."

"_Transmission source, Admiral Christopher Pike. Would you like to accept transmission?"_

"Accept transmission."

She smiled as the familiar face of the admiral flashed across the screen.

"_Screening your calls?"_

"It's been a long day, Sir. What can I do for you?"

Pike's features pulled into an amused smirk.

"_Don't worry, Doctor, I'm well aware you're off the clock. I was wondering if you'd join me for dinner this evening?"_

Katie nodded in response. "Of course, I'll meet you in the dining hall shortly."

"_Excellent."_

The Admiral cut the transmission, and Kathryn made her way to the door, exiting and making her way to the dining hall as promised.

A few short minutes later, the doctor strolled into the dining hall, and it didn't take long for Christopher to recognize the fire haired girl against the dull colors of Starfleet uniforms. As he strode to her side, Pike recalled with a fond nostalgia the young girl he'd met years before. The young woman he approached now held herself with a confidence that made him quietly proud. Yes, Kathryn had grown drastically since he'd first met her. She had been a bright and astute pupil. Now, she had a pure beauty that matched her mind. More than that, Christopher had watched her intently over the last three years, and had come to respect her strength in ways he never would have imagined.

_And that's why she's finally ready._

"Kathryn!" Pike swept beside the petite girl and placed a gentle hand on her back to aid in her acknowledgment of his presence, as it seemed she was lost in thought.

"Hmm?" Snapping to attention, Kathryn felt a sheepish tinge cross her features. "Sorry, I was mentally reviewing a patient file."

Pike offered her a mock look of chastisement as he guided her to their table. Kathryn noted that while he still walked with a slight limp, the Admiral's physique was growing stronger by the day. "You've got to learn to give yourself a rest in between shifts. You're a brilliant doctor, Kathryn, but you're a person first."

She laughed and shrugged. "I could very likely give you the same advice, Sir."

Pike settled across the table from her and flashed a smile. "So, Doctor Page," He waited as Kathryn lowered herself into her seat. "Any news from the Medbay today?" He watched his young charge with eyes she couldn't help but think were slightly baited.

"Nothing overly exciting. There was a minor mishap in one of the engineering seminars and I spent the better half of the morning treating some of the students." Kathryn took a few mouthfuls of her food before meeting Pike's gaze again.

"And that's all that happened?"

Katie's fork lowered slowly as a feeling of dread began to rise in her stomach.

_Don't tell me he's heard about that. I really have no desire to revisit it right now._

"Why don't you tell me, Sir." Kathryn's tone was respectful, but not without annoyance.

Pike's smile grew, causing her eyebrows to drop into the smallest threat of a frown. The glint of defiance in her eyes made the man shake his head with amusement. "I was wondering if you'd like to, perhaps, inform me as to why you decided to berate a senior officer this afternoon?"

Kathryn wasn't going to give in that easy. If Pike was going to invite her to dinner, and then not so subtly dig around for answers, he was going to have to deal with resistance until he outright asked. "If you're referring to Jim Kirk, whom I'm sure you're entirely familiar with, I did not berate him. I'm also sure that if you were to ask Mr. Scott, he'd inform you that I was nothing but pleasant to deal with." Her answer was as noncommittal as his question.

"Katie."

"Fine, but I'd rather someone first explain to me when it became perfectly all right for a random stranger to waltz into operating rooms without at least informing the surgeon!"

Pike's brow furrowed quizzically. "You were never told?" Kathryn shook her head and he sighed. "Then I have to apologize. I was under the impression that one of your staff would have told you ahead of time."

Kathryn's fork clattered noisily against her plate before one of her deft hands reached out and silenced it. "_You_ gave him consent?" Her face was a sheet of disbelief at the man's nod. Pike had often sent her specific patients, but never had he overstepped the boundary of granting observation privileges. "Chris, are you even aware of the patient I had today?" Aware of her lack of formal address, Kathryn lowered her voice to a near whisper etched with frustration.

The Admiral looked at her with blank ignorance. "Neela Devantes." His eyebrows shot up.

"The Betazoid?"

"Yes, the Betazoid. You know how emotionally damaged she was after the attack. Even sedated, a male presence still managed to raise her heart rate." The sharpness behind her statement made her wince. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. I just, I promised her that it would be an exclusively female team. With the counseling work she has ahead, I didn't want her to have to worry about a man touching her again." Kathryn felt a knot begin to twist inside her core. That had been what upset her. Any other patient would have been different, but after all the poor girl had been through...

"Katie, I'm sorry." The sensation of a hand resting on a fist she hadn't realized she'd clenched brought her back from her thoughts. "If I had known, I never would have sent McCoy down to observe."

"McCoy, as in?"

The elder man nodded and withdrew his hand. "Yes, the Enterprise."

Confused Kathryn looked at him with a weary expression. "Why would you send a CMO to observe what was otherwise a fairly routine procedure?"

Pike began to smile. "Kathryn, have you ever considered serving on a ship?"

The young doctor frowned and shook her head slowly. "I'm sorry, I don't think I'm following you."

Christopher settled into his chair and folded his arms across his chest in a gesture that Kathryn recognized belonged to the Admiral side of Pike. "Kathryn, I want you to hear me out before you object." Sensing the rebuttal that began to arise, he held up a gentle hand and then resumed. "You've served here at the academy for the past three years, and your talent has not gone unnoticed by those around you. Several times it has been put forward to me that the Federation could use a young woman like yourself aboard one of our ships, and I've never disagreed." Leaning forward, Pike placed both of his hands flat against the table. "Until now, I was not sure that you were ready to take on the responsibilities of active duty. However, I have been watching you closely over the past while, and I believe that we are doing you a disservice by keeping you to ourselves."

Katie's lips opened to interject, her face a mask of utter confusion. A raised eyebrow quelled her response.

"As you are aware, the crew of the Enterprise is here on shore leave while their ship undergoes some minor repair. Due to the approved transfer of several crew members, they are in need of new personnel."

Kathryn wasn't sure she liked where this was headed.

"Kathryn, I want you onboard that ship." He studied the face of the young woman before him intently before prodding a response. "Well?"

"I," Katie raised a hand and slowly raked it through her loose hair. "I haven't been aboard a starship since my cadet years, Sir. Plus, the wounds that I treat here aren't comparable to what I'd face onboard."

Pike nodded in agreement. "Understandable. However, I have no doubts in your capabilities as physician. The role you would serve on the Enterprise would not be exclusively limited to the medical department, though that is where you would start."

"What do you mean?"

"They are currently in need of a new science officer, and while their First Officer is adept to fulfill the role at this point in time, you would be a suitable fit pending your adjustment to the requirements of the job."

Kathryn cocked an eyebrow and shook her head. "Science officer? I know that my background from cadet training leans in that area, but, I'm far more used to being a doctor."

"Which is why you'll be placed under the supervision of Doctor McCoy until you're deemed fit for promotion." Pike laughed gently at the look of unadulterated horror that crossed her face. "Don't worry, McCoy is no stranger to the occasional run in. I'm sure once he knows the full situation he'll understand.

Sighing, Kathryn fought the urge to sink her head into her hands. She didn't know if the overwhelming churning in her stomach was a result of anxiety or excitement, and as far as she was concerned, the two made for a cruel combination. "I don't know I-"

Staring down at her plate, the redhead tried to narrow the flurry of thoughts racing through her head to those that held significance._If I go, I'd be leaving behind everything. No safety net. No history._ Oddly enough, this was a thought that wasn't completely unwelcome. She'd thought in the past about serving on a ship, but had always buried the notion amongst a heavy workload. Apparently Pike refused to let it hide any longer. Raising her head, her ice blue eyes flashed a silent yearning for hope at their observer.

"How much of a choice do I actually have in this?" Her usual wry humor was beginning to creep back into her tone.

"You have as much choice as you'd like Kathryn, but you know as well as I do that I'd never let anyone, even you, near a ship if I didn't think you'd serve it well." Pike once again leaned back in his chair and settled his gaze upon her. He could see the wheels turning behind those striking eyes. He wasn't lying to her. More than once he'd denied her even the choice of joining a crew, not that he had informed her. Kathryn may not have been his daughter by blood, but the day she'd called upon him lost and begging for help, he'd known he'd guide her as well as he could. He'd waited through a painful three years with her, and now he trusted releasing her. It was no coincidence that he was entrusting her to the Enterprise either. He knew she could handle the demands of Kirk and his crew, and he knew that she'd only enhance their dynamic.

"Okay." Though her answer was finite and strong, Pike could feel the fear in her response. Knowing her as though she were his own, Christopher could sense the mixture of emotions tossing behind the eyes he'd grown to love.

_She needs to prepare herself. I won't overwhelm her with further information until she's had time to adjust._

"If you'll excuse me, Admiral, I think I should get some rest."

He nodded, and placed a quick hand on hers across the table to prevent her from leaving immediately.

"Your parents would be proud, Kathryn. I know I am."

And though his words meant the world, the woman who rose and silently nodded towards the Admiral was a woman full of uncertainty.

As she turned and left, Christopher Pike found the eyes of a Commander across the hall. His expression needed no words and gave clear instruction.

_Take care of her._

Spock bowed his head in a curt nod.


	4. Coversations

"Well, damnit, Jim! How the hell I was I supposed to react? One moment I've got Pike sending me down to observe some potential replacement for Cadaya, and the next thing I know I've got some ridiculous surgeon throwing me out on my ass!"

McCoy slammed his hand down lightly in full exasperation, his southern drawl a spiking roughly through the offended words. Beside him on the bar counter, Captain Jim Kirk laughed heartily and took a long swig of his beer. Surprisingly, the place was fairly empty for a Friday night. There was the odd cadet milling around mixed in with the locals, but nothing - or no one that caught his fancy.

"I'm tellin' ya Bones, it's not worth getting upset about." The older man viewed Kirk with an incredulous glare.

"That's why you spent the better half of ten minutes moaning about some routine injection?"

Kirk glowered ruefully into his glass in response. "That's different! You don't just go around injecting people—" He cut off his sentence realizing his audience was inclined to disagree. "Whatever." Taking another swig, Jim's blue eyes measured McCoy's carefully. He knew full well that his amusement towards the mishap was only infuriating the man further, which was quite frankly by this point a side-benefit. However, Bones was first and foremost his friend, who just so happened to wield injections of his own; and so he decided that alleviating the situation was probably the wisest course of action. This probably would have proceeded better had he not been slightly drunk.

"Did you ever think that maybe they..." He had to pause to remember what McCoy had said earlier. "Maybe they didn't know you were coming?" As much as he could see the ire in Bone's slight mouth twitch, he could also see the doctor considering his option.

_Didn't think of that._

"Even if she hadn't known, it doesn't excuse her behavior."

At this, Jim couldn't quite hold back the snort of irony.

"Yeah, 'cause we all know your bedside manner is downright chipper!"

McCoy effectively decided the captain had consumed enough alcohol for the evening and stood from his stool to wrap a burly arm under Jim's and yank him away from the counter.

"Alright, that's enough out of you."

"Hey, hey...take it easy Bones!"

The doctor rolled his eyes.

"Jim, you're six deep, and Pike wants to meet with you in the morning."

The captain groaned in response.

"Forgot about that."

The Admiral had approached him earlier in the day, shortly after his trip to the medbay. Similar to McCoy's interaction with their former commander, Pike had explained that he had a candidate in mind for the crew. As McCoy began to escort the rather inebriated captain towards their guest quarters, Jim took the time to recall the encounter.

"_Jim."_

_Kirk had turned his attention from a nearby female cadet and smiled welcomingly at the approach of the familiar figure._

"_Admiral Pike. Good to see you up and walking again."_

_The Admiral nodded passively in response to the reference. "It's coming along." The extent of his injuries were not his most favored memory, nor were they the intention behind his presence._

"_Walk with me."_

_Kirk nodded and fell into step with the older man._

"_It's weird being back here, you know."_

_Pike cracked a smile._

"_I hear you've been keeping the engineering students entertained."_

_Kirk shrugged. "Scotty's got a thing for flashy presentations." Sensing that the Admiral had a motive beyond trivial conversation, the captain remained silent permitting Pike to speak fully._

"_Jim, I wanted to let you know that I'm going to be to placing an officer aboard the Enterprise."_

_The younger captain said nothing but continued to look expectantly. _

"_I had her records transfered over to your PADD earlier. I believe you'll find a suitable fit for your science officer position in due time."_

"_In due time? With respect, Admiral, that is not a position that should endure a prolonged wait to be filled."_

"_I'm not arguing that. However, I think we're both aware of Commander Spock's capabilities in the area for now. This young woman is exceptionally talented, and I assure you that she would be a welcomed addition to any crew."_

_Kirk crossed his arms as Pike halted his stride, bringing them both to a standstill. _

"_Then why the Enterprise?" _

"_Because, Jim, I trust her under your leadership."_

_Pike folded his hands behind his back formally. "As she has medical training, she'll be serving as McCoy's second in command until you deem her ready to fully join you on the bridge. I assure you, she'll be a good fit."_

"_I trust your judgment, Sir."_

"_Good."_

Jim had simply watched as the Admiral strode away with a muted curiosity. Had it been any other commander, Kirk likely would have fought a crew placement without his expressed approval. However, Pike's tone made it evident that he saw something in her.

James T. Kirk was no stranger to that tone.

"Do you remember the code to your room?"

Presently, Jim was vaguely aware of their arrival to his quarters. "Damnit, Jim. Stand up straight! I'm not a bloody wall, you know."

"Shhh."

Jim held up a finger weakly to his lips and gave McCoy a sloppy grin. The doctor groaned and entered the medical officer's override function, and began to haul his friend inside.

"Jim, what the hell is wrong with you? I've seen you down twice as much without acting like such an infant." McCoy's query was perplexed hiss.

The captain was vaguely aware of the fact that his vision was growing slowly hazy. A foggy recollection began to poke at him from the back of his mind while the good doctor led him over to his bed. "You know, Bones...I think that doctor lady may have said something about drinking."

McCoy stared down at him with a calculated silence. "What kind of something, Jim?"

"Maybe don't do it for a while. I don't remember. She sure was pretty!"

McCoy cursed viciously under his breath and then sighed.

"Do you remember what she gave you?"

It was becoming painfully evident that Jim was losing control on consciousness, but with a giddy ignorance that would put most five year olds to shame.

"Something about fungi...Mo.."

"Moridian fungi." Bones raked a hand through his hair and crossed his arms. "You're not supposed to consume alcohol for eight hours. Since you're just under that you should be fine, but you're going to wake up with one hell of a hangover in the-"

Leonard looked down to find his friend utterly unconscious and snoring.

"Morning." He finished the statement blandly. Satisfied that Jim was in no immediate danger, he decided to take some time to clear his head before returning to his own quarters. The door of Jim's room granted him exit with a quiet hiss, and McCoy left the captain behind to face the consequence of his error.

* * *

"Spock, you look troubled."

In the darkness of his quarters, Uhura placed a gentle hand upon the chest of her Vulcan and gazed upon him with questioning eyes.

"I doubt my physical appearance is significantly altered due to any emotional state, Nyota."

His eyes closed and she could feel the coolness of his exhaling breath brush across her skin.

"I apologize. I did not mean to dismiss your inquiry so harshly."

"Spock..."

Her hands found his face and tilted it softly down towards her.

"What is it?

The Vulcan left a long silence between the second question and his reply.

"It is odd; being back on Earth." Nyota waited patiently for him to explain.

"It is my home, as was Vulcan. Yet it is only so as it is the place my mother originated from." He paused to look out the window of the rather sparsely decorated quarters. The moon had risen in full that evening.

"At times, I wonder if my mother ever felt similarly about Vulcan."

Nyota took his hand and rested her head against his shoulder.

"You miss her." It was not a question.

His silence was her confirmation.

Uhura separated herself from his body with a small sigh. It had been two years. Two very long years. While she knew he was strong, so unbelievably strong, it pained her to know that he still could not let her in fully. As though he sensed her wavering confidence, Spock turned from the window and gathered her in an uncharacteristic loose embrace, touching his forehead to hers.

"The fault is not yours, Nyota."

The acknowledgement was barely a breath above a whisper and her eyes closed with his.

"I am sorry, Spock. I wish Nero had never succeeded"

"As do I. But what we desire shall never be so."

He did not need to view her to see her features contort with empathetic pain. The two remained as statues for a moment, and then the ebony skinned woman pulled away with a weak smile.

"I'll leave you to your thoughts."

The Vulcan nodded his thanks, and she left with a grace he admired. She had stood by his side so patiently, and though he wished to share with her, he knew his father's words long ago were not inaccurate.

"_Emotions run deep within our race, Spock."_

Nothing ran deeper than the loss of his mother. The murder of his mother. He had been so close, so close to saving her. In the end, he had failed her. Even in the sanctuary of his private quarters, the only indication of the searing despair that clutched his heart at the memory was the briefest of twitches in his hands.

_Spock, you shall remain collected._

His chest rose and fell rapidly for a moment, and then the Vulcan within him took control.

Earth.

It was a troublesome place for him now. For the first time in his thirty years, he found himself aware of the fact that he was on a planet full of people who had more in common with his mother than he as her son ever had. Even with the understanding that the notion lacked logical grounding, it was a thought that wounded his heart.

_Even so, the past is not something capable of rectification. I have domain only over what is present. _

Folding both hands behind his back, Spock padded slowly back to the window and stared out upon the section of land available for viewing from his standpoint. Though it was not within his immediate sight, the commander knew he was not far from a stretch of road marred with its own misfortune.

_It has been four years, and as with my tragedy, all trace has faded from being._

He had never understood the desperate avoidance of the young woman he'd saved that night. Nor had he understood the overwhelming fear that he had felt spindling through her being as he'd touched her. Even barely living, the emotions pouring through the tiny woman he'd held in his arms had left the then young professor curiously overwhelmed.

Until now. Now he knew the fear stemmed from a love deeper than his Vulcan side had dared explore. He knew, at least to some extent the pain that must have overtaken her completely. Yet, here she was. Once again so close to where she'd lost so much. Stronger, or so the Admiral had said. This was something he did not intrinsically understand. It did not make sense to return to a site of anguish.

Spock's brown eyes locked upon the moon for a moment and something deep inside of him sighed.

Yes, the illogical function of her actions was fascinating.

* * *

_I must be losing my mind._

Kathryn paced the floor of her quarters in a frantic whirl of overwhelmed emotions. Her lose waves of copper red swayed gently across her shoulders with each stepped. If she weren't a doctor she'd have been more concerned about the wild beating of her heart.

_Katie. Slow down. Just slow down._

Her pacing stalled leaving her leaning with her back against the nearest wall. The coolness of the structure calmed her slightly, and with a great sigh, the soon to be officer slid slowly to the floor cradling one knee against her chest and allowing her other leg to sprawl freely.

_You need this Kathryn. _

The voice in her head carried wisdom to the scared little girl raging in her heart. Three years. Three years she'd been here. Three years she'd spent picking up the pieces of the past. The prospect of leaving again frightened and excited her more than she wanted to admit.

_*Bzzz bzzzz bzzzzzzzzz*_

"What now?"

Picking herself up off the floor, Kathryn made her way to the nearest table to silence her offending PADD. A brush of her pointer finger prompted the device to display an awaiting message notification. Frowning, she decided to let the disruption wait.

Turning her attention back to the situation at hand, the young doctor surveyed her surroundings with a nostalgic whim.

These walls had been her haven for long enough. They had seen her broken and emotionally decrepit. They saw a side of her she no longer wished to allow existence.

_You always knew that you couldn't stay here._

It was the truth. Yes, returning to the academy was a place to start. When she had arrived, she had been utterly lost and confused. Now, though she hadn't a clue where she belonged in this universe, Kathryn knew her soul needed more than a weak escape.

_But am I ready? Am I truly ready to leave everything I have here behind?_

A harsh laugh tore from her throat abruptly. What did she have? Yes, she had a family here in Pike, and a job she truly loved, but she also had the skeletons of her loss looming overhead.

_You're as ready as you can be, Kathryn._

Turning, she raked a pale but steadying hand through her red waves and made her way to the one possession she held dear. Clutching the small frame within her hands, Katie gazed upon the photo she'd kept with her since the accident.

It had been take four years ago, by a cadet she'd never met before her family filed into the car for their weekly outing. Three smiling figures peered back at her.

"_Come on, Kathryn. We're celebrating! I want something to remember this day!"_

"_Dad, please, we're going to be late for our reservation. We can always take a photo when we get back!"_

_Edwin had smiled wryly and shook his head. _

"_Now where's your sense of adventure, Kathryn? Get over here and make your old man happy!"_

"_How does a taking a photo have anything to do with a sense of adventure?"_

"_Katie, really, it would mean the world to us."_

_The gentle prodding of her mother caused the red-haired graduate to throw up her hands in mock exasperation with a good natured grin._

"_Fine, fine! But don't blame me if we don't get a table!"_

Four hours later, she'd lost everything that moment had meant.

The faces of her mother and father stared back at her with a love and pride so pure it churned her very being, and Kathryn knew her insecurity had been trumped. This would be no easy journey, but it was one she had to make. Emotionally raw and exhausted, she took a quick glance towards her bed and knew it would remain empty for the time being. Her soul was too conflicted.

_I need some fresh air._

Careful hands set the photo back in its proper spot, and Kathryn spent a final moment enthralled by it's memory. Blinking back tears of frustration, the doctor stole out of her room and into the quiet of the night.

Thankfully, Kathryn found herself peacefully alone as exited the faculty wing of the academy and strolled purposefully towards one of the more secluded area. She was almost surprised by the sheer emptiness of the campus, and then she recalled the day. No doubt the students were holed up in the various establishments neighboring the campus, letting off some steam.

_At least I'll have some peace and quiet out here._

Her stride lost its purpose as the threat of being interrupted waned. Instead, her focus drifted to the vastness of the night sky and the shimmer of the blanket of stars above.

As a cadet, the outdoors had been her retreat during times of heavy stress. How fitting then, that she should find herself retracing old steps.

_Then again, what about the last while hasn't been retracing old steps?_

A wry smile crossed her lips despite the chill of the night air washing across her thin frame. Yes, if Kathryn was completely honest with herself – as she preferred to be, she knew at least in part why she'd returned to Starfleet. It wasn't because it was the only place she could have turned. It was because it was the only place she'd wanted to.

Eleven years she'd spent on these grounds before she'd lost her parents. They were years full of joy and purpose. It seemed that every time she turned a corner here, she could see her former-self doing the same. The comfort that brought was odd, yet unsurpassable.

Settling down onto a nearby bench, one of her old haunts, Kathryn took in the sight of the ocean and the stars, and then closed her eyes and let her memory shift into control.

The Starfleet campus she began to see in her mind was a place of challenge and growth. She saw old friends, smelled the golden scent of fall and spring, recalled the many nights spent in this exact spot. Kathryn's senses could recount each and every moment she'd spent here, and it made her heart glow with the feeling of home.

How could she have gone anywhere else to find herself, when all she ever was and dreamt of being belonged so very much to this place?

_This has, and always will be my home. _

The knowledge swept warmth through her core. As much as her heart smiled with recognition, it ached with longing.

_But I can't stay here forever. If I never leave, I'll never leave my wounds behind._

Yes, for all the comfort in the world, she knew it was challenge that would save her. Her eyes flickered open and glimmered with the kindle of a hope waiting to be ignited.

_Chris wouldn't have asked me if he didn't know I could do it. I have to let myself leap. Again. _

She'd done it once, and not for a second had she regretted leaving the barren desert behind. Maybe, just maybe she'd find the same release this time.

Kathryn stood and began to turn only to abruptly feel her face collide with a warm, solid object.

_What the hell!_

She was aware of a masculine grunt and what sounded like a stumble as she herself tipped backwards and sprawled none too delicately across the grass.

"Cadet, I strongly suggest that you watch where you are going!" A small hand cradled her nose, and she felt herself being pulled from the ground in a steady grip before her spinning head had begun to settle.

"Careful, now...you hit- I'll be damned"

Kathryn's eyes flew open at the sound of a very familiar voice.

"_You!"_

The singular word exited her lips in a hiss and she threw off the hands that had been supporting her before thrusting out her own in an accusatory manner.

Doctor McCoy took in the sight of what appeared to be a very disheveled young woman. He knew that look well enough from his days as an academy physician. Leonard felt what his rational side wanted to call a pang of sympathy quickly being replaced by exasperation courtesy of his not so rational side.

"It's bad enough that you waltz in on a private surgery, but then scaring me half to death? Just what the fuck is your problem!"

"_My _problem!"

Leonard threw up his hands in sheer frustration before pointing his own finger at the petite ball of fury before him.

"Listen up, Red. I don't know what on God's green earth _your _problem is. All I know is that I'm being terrorized by some crazy woman who calls herself a doctor because I did what I was told!"

The second he spat the words out at her, McCoy regretted the harshness in his tone. A look of hurt crossed her features and he felt his gut kick him sharply in the ass. Then, those eyes, the palest shade of blue he'd ever encountered, raged at him with a fire that made him brace for an all out assault.

"You think I'm crazy? At least I don't go sneaking up on women at night!"

Kathryn's voice was hoarse with disbelief. Her hands found her hips and her head dipped as she tried to calm herself.

_Don't start a fight. It's not his fault; it's not your fault. Just fix it._

Leonard watched in stunned silence as the young woman in front of him took what appeared to take a deep breath and exhaled slowly, turning her back to him and staring up at the sky.

"So now you're just going to ignore me?"

"No." There was a dangerous edge to her response, and as the striking redhead turned to face him again, it became evident that she was attempting to exercise control.

"Frankly, I'm trying to sympathize with the fact that you weren't aware of your error when you barged in earlier." Trying was given an obvious emphasis.

"You have a common practice of threatening senior officers?"

McCoy's quip was awarded with an icy glare that stopped him in his tracks.

"McCoy, isn't it?"

Leonard nodded. For all his anger, he could feel the sympathy creeping back as he viewed the tiredness in her eyes. "I don't believe I was ever provided with your name, Doctor." He cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the anger that still remained in her stance.

Kathryn eyed him for a second longer before relaxing the arms she'd crossed defensively and responding. He was playing nice. That she could deal with.

"Page. Doctor Kathryn Page."

She could feel the startled anger draining, leaving her with a tired submission.

"Listen," Sighing softly she broke her intense gaze on the man to look for any observers and then returned to her ill-formed explanation. "I owe you an apology for earlier." The pause dared him to make a retort. Leonard was half tempted, but the passionate ire in her eyes swayed him otherwise.

"I didn't know that Pike had suggested you observe. Had it been brought up with me, I would have made different arrangements. My patient this afternoon was a young woman who, without betraying confidentially agreements... "

Was that sadness in her eyes? McCoy could feel his own cantankerous resentment quelling. He still clasped begrudgingly to a few remaining strains and waited for her to continue.

"My patient required a specific team, and allowing you to remain present would had circumvented a promise I had made to her previously."

Leonard was surprised to see the hostility drop out of her stance; the woman who stood before him now carried a very different air of regret.

"Even so, I should not have assumed that you were intending to breech that promise, nor that you were aware of the miscommunication that evidently transpired. While I wouldn't have allowed you to remain regardless, I should not have ejected you so abrasively, and so for that you have my sincere apology."

_Well, shit._

McCoy stared silently for a solid three seconds, confounded at the woman's ability to switch from a furious accusation to genuine remorse simultaneously. More so than that, he found himself admiring her ethics as a physician. Leonard knew himself well enough as a doctor to know that had he been in her position, he likely would have reacted the same.

"I suppose I owe you an apology myself." The words tasted bittersweet as they exited. "I shouldn't have insulted you just now. You were doing your job, and protecting your patient. I have to respect you for that."

She offered him a wry smile and shook her head, which threw him further off guard.

"Don't worry about it. It's my own fault."

Leonard raked a relieved hand through his hair and looked around casually.

"What are you doing out here at this time of night anyhow?"

Kathryn cocked an eyebrow at his query.

"I could ask you the same question." Shrugging, she opted to give him a fair answer.

"It's been a long day. I wanted some fresh air.

McCoy nodded his understanding. The notion was something he was all too familiar with.

"So, if you've talked to the Admiral, is it safe for me to assume you're aware of my reasons for...attempting to observe?"

She mirrored his earlier response and bobbed her head softly.

"Yes."

"Well then, I guess it's for the best that be put this incident behind us, isn't it?"

Though his face was serious, Kathryn could sense the lack of mirth behind the offer. Before she could formulate a response, the elder doctor posed a further question.

"You usually take your job as seriously as you did today?"

"Always."

The sincerity in Kathryn's answer pulled the smallest of smiles from McCoy as he extended a hand in a gesture of peace.

"Then it's going to be a pleasure working with you, Doctor."

She took his hand in a grasp that was both gentle and strong.

"I promise to avoid berating you further, Sir."

Leonard cocked an eyebrow and help up his spare hand while releasing hers.

"Don't worry about me, Red. It's the Captain you're going to have to help me keep in line."

She bit her tongue at the second use of the moniker. It was the least she could do given the fact that she'd tongue lashed him twice in a twenty-four hour period. Kirk on the other hand...

"Oh, I think Kirk and myself will get on just fine."

McCoy's brow furrowed in confusion and she waved it off casually. Exhaustion was beginning to set in rapidly, and her body pleaded for its bed. Stifling a yawn, Kathryn took one last look out at the ocean and then back at her fellow doctor.

"It's late, I should return to my quarters and rest."

Leonard nodded. "I can escort you, if you'd like."

He was only half surprised when she shook her head.

"Thank you, but no. I'm not that far away."

He conceded with a dip of his head.

"Good night, Doctor."

He watched her fading figure for a few moments before shaking his head in disbelief.

"Unbelievable."

The sentiment was muttered under his breath, and the good doctor turned and went towards his own quarters with a tired of what to make of young woman he'd just encountered Leonard found himself a very confused man.

_Pike had better know what he's doing, throwing doctors aboard ships. I'll be surprised if Jim even approves it. Aw, hell...what am I talkin' about? 'Course he'll let a girl on the ship._

The latter thought evoked a wide smile as the man suddenly placed his friend's earlier complaints to the face he'd just encountered.

_Well now, maybe she won't be so bad to have on board after all._

* * *

Katie reentered her room significantly more at peace than she had been when she left.

_And at least that damn mess is cleared up._

The doctor ventured across her quarters and progressed through her nightly ritual before bed before the dull chime of her PADD reminded her of it's earlier alert.

_Alright, alright. _

Katie made her way towards the table clad in a paisley nightgown that complimented the milk like quality of her skin, and the redness of her hair. The ground was cool beneath her bare feet. Claiming her device, the young woman proceeded to access the awaiting message.

_You made the right decision._

_Dad always said you belonged up there in the stars._

How Ben knew was beyond her comprehension, but she did not doubt Pike's involvement. It had been years since she'd seen her brother, and his words awakened a strong comfort in her soul. Knowing her reply would be answerless; she sent what she always did when he contacted her:

_Be safe. I love you._

Katie placed the PADD back on the table with a small yawn and made the quick trek back to her bedroom.

The moment the covers slid over her body, her body drifted into a dreamless sleep.


	5. Transitions

_Hey guys, as promised, here is the latest installment of the story. Sorry for the delay in getting it posted, but to be honest, I had some difficulty piecing this one together. It took me a while to figure out how I wanted everything to flow, and what I wanted to put in/leave out. I'm still not 100% happy with it, so in the future (once I'm further along in the story), I may go back and rewrite this. So, I would great appreciate it (as I always do) if you all could give me some solid feedback. I know I hound you guys after every chapter, but this time it would really be helpful. Let me know if you think this works, or what doesn't. If you think I should have added something in, or should take something out, that would be great to know! Remember, I'm still new at this, and I can only improve based on what you tell me!_

_With that out of the way, please enjoy the chapter, and I promise to try and get back to regular updates ASAP!_

_-Alluring Masquerade_

"She'll need twenty cc's of fluid, and then constant supervision for the next twenty four hours or so…" Passing off her patient's chart to the nearest nurse, Kathryn turned back to the young female under her examination. "Which means, Cadet, that you're going to have to take things easy. No alcohol, plenty of sleep, and lots of water. I'm going to have one of the other doctors check in on you every few hours. Understood?" Smiling warmly at the student's nod of confirmation, Katie reached out a hand and gently patted her knee. "Try to avoid banging your head against anything from now on, and you'll be fine." With a teasing wink, the young doctor murmured a few last orders to the nurse and then swept across the room to shed her gloves and wash up.

The past week had been far more chaotic than Kathryn could have imagined. Perhaps it was the fact that her decision had left her drained, or that she'd truly underestimated how much a transition it would be to assume her new role. In the seven days following her acceptance of Pike's offer, the young doctor had found herself swarmed with paperwork; inquiries from her current co-workers; and growing restless under the ever-watchful gaze of Leonard McCoy. The Enterprise's doctor had been assigned to observe her work thoroughly, and while Kathryn conceded that the practice was warranted, it was…_unsettling _to have someone hovering over her shoulder; questioning her methods. Still, as much as it irked her, she had to give her fellow doctor credit. Despite essentially working alongside her during her shifts, not once had he pushed her aside and taken over. His suggestions had been tactfully placed, and his practical knowledge relayed with the absence of arrogance. The man Kathryn had seen assuming quiet control over the medbay in the past few days was a far different person than she had initially pegged him for. With less than twenty-four hours remaining before his- _their_ ship deployed, the young doctor found a sense of ease in knowing they would work well together.

"Leo, I'm on break, can I bring you something?" Her hair swayed loosely against her shoulder blades as she took a few steps forward to close the gap between herself and Leonard. The elder doctor was stooped over a student's outstretched hand, and upon closer instruction, Katie realized the poor cadet had severed a digit. Wincing ever so slightly, she placed what she hoped to be a comforting hand on the student's shoulder. "Tactical?" The young male nodded weakly. McCoy finally looked up from his stitch job and cocked an eyebrow. "Sorry, Red. You say something?" The moniker earned him a withered glance. Kathryn had decided early on, in hopes of establishing a friendly working relationship, to let the name stand. In return, he'd disclosed his long-lasting title of "Bones" and offered it to her as an alternative to the rather staunch "Doctor McCoy". Unaware of its origin, Katie had declined, opting for a shortened form of his actual name, explaining that the other reminded her too much of work.

"I said I was going on break, and asked if I could get you something." Her ice blue eyes peered down at him, her lips parted in a warm smile. The repeated question hung in the air momentarily as she reached over to grab a hypospray, anticipating McCoy's request before it could leave his lips. Handing over the device, the petite woman gave her soon to be commanding officer a once over before pocketing her hands within her lab coat and shaking her head. "You look like you could use a break yourself, care to join me?" Leonard nodded his agreement. "I'll need a few minutes." Gesturing towards the door with his head, McCoy turned back to his patient. "Go on ahead, I'll meet you out there." Mirroring his earlier nod, Kathryn pivoted softly on her heel and made her way to the nearest replicator.

_I can't believe this is it. _

Clutching two mugs of coffee, Kathryn leaned gingerly against the nearest wall, waiting for McCoy's arrival. Her eyes closed delicately at the thought. In a few short hours, she'd be aboard a starship, leaving everything behind. As much as it excited her, it was a heavy realization. The academy had been her home for so long, to leave it behind was to break free of a safety net and venture into the cold dark expanse of space. There would be so much to miss; The thinly muted air of excitement that encircled the campus, the comfort of knowing she belonged, the sense of control that came with her position, the family she had in Christopher Pike.

_But I'm ready- or at least as ready as I'll ever be. _

"Nervous?"

A masculine voice pulled the young doctor from her inner musings with a small sigh. Katie's eyes fluttered open to meet Leonard's with a sheepish smile. "Is it that obvious?" His soft laughter caught her off guard.

"No, but I've been in your shoes before." McCoy shook his head with sympathetic amusement, claiming his coffee with a small smile. "Frankly, I'd probably be more concerned if you weren't nervous. I mean, you're about to be shipped off into space with a crew you've hardly met, to encounter God knows what. It's not exactly a walk in the park, is it?"

"Well, gee, thanks for the pep talk, McCoy." Kathryn cocked a bemused eyebrow at his explanation, offering him a deadpan response. "I'm sure you must be a hit with all the new recruits." Taking a sip of her coffee, her petite framed relaxed slightly against the structure behind her. At McCoy's gesture for her to follow him as he strolled down the hall, she pushed off gently and caught his stride.

"That's not what I meant. I'm just trying to say that I understand." McCoy turned his head slightly as the pair progressed down the hall, granting Kathryn a small shrug. "For what it's worth, I have every confidence that you're going to fit in just fine." He paused in his gait, bringing them both to an abrupt halt. Turning to face her more directly, McCoy took in the sight of the red-haired woman he'd soon have under his command. Even now, beyond the surface anxiety, he could see the strength ruminating behind her eyes. In the last week he'd grown to respect her as a doctor, and begun to enjoy her company as a comrade. He more than welcomed the opportunity to have her by his side on the Enterprise. Yet, it didn't matter what he thought. As much as he could see her relaxing with his encouragement, he could sense the doubt lurking beneath the surface. Mimicking her earlier gesture to the cadet, Leo placed a strong hand on her shoulder and squeeze with a gentle pressure. "I'm serious. You do good work, Kathryn. I haven't said it all week, but you're one of the best doctors I've seen around here. You know your stuff, you think quick on your feet, and that is why I promise you you'll be fine."

Katie met his gaze with her own and a weak smile. "Thank you." With another soft sigh, the doctor pulled away from his grasp and ran a small hand through her waved locks. "It's not the ship I'm worried about. It's just going to be hard to leave all of this behind. It's been my home for quite some time." McCoy nodded his understanding. "But," She continued her thought in a quiet voice, "It's time for a change of scenery. Besides, I'm sure I'll be fine once we leave. Waiting is always the hardest part." The sadness in her eyes gave way to a small ember of hope. A metallic chime overhead stole the attention of the pair, circumventing further conversation.

_**Doctor Page, Please return to Medbay. Doctor Page, Please return to Medbay**_

Katie shook her head and exhaled with a muted humor. "Then again, I guess some things never change." Her brow furrowed into a mock expression of frustration as she disposed of her beverage in the nearest receptacle. It seemed oddly fitting to have her final break cut short, after all, in the past three years should couldn't remember a shift she'd had a full one to begin with. Turning to proceed back to the medbay, she paused momentarily to turn her attention back to Leonard. "Leo?" His raised eyebrows signified she had his attention. "Thanks again." With a quick flash of a smile she was gone, jogging lightly down the hallway to handle whatever emergency had summoned her.

_She'll be fine. Just fine._

Watching her retreating form, Leonard McCoy sighed with an almost whimsical nostalgia. At least her first voyage was going to be significantly less eventful than his. No crazy ass Romulans trying to implode planets. Besides, he was looking more than forward to seeing how Jim would handle the identity of their new doctor given his previous encounter. _If she can one up Jim Kirk, the gal's got nothing to worry about from the rest of the crew. Christ, maybe I'll even understand the science reports once she takes over for Spock on the Bridge. His Vulcan-Logic jargon is painful to read. _

McCoy smiled. Yes, Kathryn Page was going to be a welcome addition to the Enterprise crew.

Hours crept by, her shift passing faster than expected. It wasn't until one of the medical interns had come to retrieve her that Kathryn even realized she'd worked overtime. Stripping herself of her mask and gloves, her petite frame found its way to the center of the controlled chaos she'd breathed for the past three years. On either side of her, men and women she'd grown to respect worked away diligently. It would be strange, to work alongside a new staff, to deal with officers instead of students, to be Dr. Kathryn Page of the U.S.S. Enterprise, arguably the fleet's most notorious flagship.

_I guess this is goodbye._

With a small sigh, her milk white shoulders sagged beneath her uniform. Turning, she began a stroll she knew she'd be taking for the last time out of the medbay and towards her quarters. The journey was short, and yet entirely bittersweet. The doors of her abode opened with a muted hiss, revealing quarters mostly emptied of the few personal affects they'd held before. They awaited her aboard the Enterprise, in a room more suited to her needs. Plodding inside, Katie set about her usual post-shift routine. After a quick shower and uniform change, she settled into a nearby chair. Her eyes hadn't shut for the briefest of moments before her door chimed with a visitor's arrival. A soft smile tugged at her lips, her heart knowing whom it was before she granted them access.

"Chris." Her smile grew as her suspicions proved correct, and the Admiral strode into her quarters. The pair stood silent for a moment, him the picture of formality and composure, she the vision of a beautiful young woman plagued with veiled anxiety. Then, the Admiral side of Pike folded to fatherly nature, and he pulled Kathryn into a warm embrace. Her arms wound across the strong expanse of his back, pulling him closer. This, by far, was the hardest part of leaving. Four years ago when she had lost so much, he'd been there. Hell, he'd been there from the moment they'd met. Even as a young child, Pike had been her mentor, and now he was more than a friend or guardian. He was as much of a father as he could be.

"I'm proud of you, Kathryn." His whispered words found her ear, and her head burrowed farther into his shoulder. "I want you to know that I'm proud of you…and they would be too." The pair separated softly, reluctantly, as his eyes found hers. Not for the first time, the sight of her rendered him speechless. Christopher's chest moved slowly with a deep exhale as he wrapped a loose arm around Kathryn's shoulders and guided her softly to the couch, seating them both. He knew it was hard for her, and yet he'd underestimated how difficult it was going to be for him to let her go. For years he had recruited cadets, many of which he'd invested in personally, pushing them towards their goals. Their successes always made him proud, and nothing brought him as much joy as watching his former cadets step into roles they'd worked towards. Kathryn was different. Yes, he'd been her mentor as he'd been for many others, but they had never held the place she held in his heart. Chris knew now, as he had for some time, the feeling Edwin must have felt whenever he'd described his daughter to his friends. _It's just a shame he can't be here to see her. I know he'd be happy for her, as am I._

"Katie, there's something I want to give you." Kathryn's blue orbs held his with a mark of confusion. His tone was oddly somber, and his heavy emotion wasn't something she was accustomed to. Sensing the man seemed to be struggling with his words, her gaze finally found the box clutched in his hand.

"What is it?" Her eyes narrowed for a moment. The box seemed strangely familiar, and yet foreign. Pike shifted with an uncharacteristic air of discomfort and covered it briefly with his other hand. "This is…something I've held onto for quite some time. I've been waiting for the right moment to give it to you, and I think now is more appropriate than ever." Her brows furrowed in light confusion. Why was this so hard? This was a side of him she'd never seen. Then, as his hands parted, and gently removed the cover, she had her answer. Her eyes traveled from the object to its keeper, wide with childlike disbelief and a deep pain.

"I know your mother would have wanted you to have this." Tipping the box, Pike gently pooled the platinum chain of the necklace into the palm of his hand. The coolness of the pendant, a small piece of an Andorian jewel cut to resemble a star, splayed lightly against his skin.

"I thought they'd lost it." Kathryn's delicate fingers ran over its surface. It had been her mother's-a gift from their father to celebrate their anniversary. Edwin had sworn to his wife she shone brighter than any star, and even though Katie had found the comment rather embellished at the time, she had always admired the piece. Emily had cherished the gift, wearing it at all times. Including the night she died. Her daughter shook her head with a soft laugh, her eyes wrinkling with a fond nostalgia. "I almost forgot about it." Placing her hand back in her lap, her gaze found Pike's once again. "Do you really think they'd be proud of me? Not for…this, but for everything?"

Christopher smiled. "Yes." The answer didn't require any thought. Her parents had been his closest friends, and knowing how much they'd loved her, and seeing the woman she'd grown into… "I know they are. We all are." Holding the necklace between his hands, he signaled for her to lean forward. "Here." Clasping the chain around her neck, he watched as the silver pendant glittered upon her skin. "You look beautiful." Two of her fingers snaked around the pendant rubbing it between their pads. For moment she closed her eyes, only to have them flutter open as Christopher gently guided her to her feet with his hands. Clearing his throat, The Admiral attempted to regain a more regal composure.

"You're expected on the bridge and twelve hundred hours tomorrow to meet the crew. Doctor McCoy and Commander Scott have graciously volunteered to show you the ship's interior prior, and I'll arrive here at eight hundred hours to escort you to your shuttle." _It's best that she doesn't meet the rest of them until they depart. This way, she'll have a chance to settle before she realizes what I've done. _A rumble of guilt turned within his stomach. Perhaps it wasn't fair to send her aboard without telling her the truth, but knowing her stubborn side, the last thing Pike wanted to do was sacrifice her growth. _She'll be furious, but its better for her this way, and I know she'll recognize that in time. _"Kathryn Page," He couldn't help but smile looking down at her. "It is my honor to assign you active duty aboard the USS Enterprise, and I hereby relieve you of your duties at Starfleet Academy." The second she beamed back; he knew he'd made the right decision in pushing her.

"Isn't that Barnett's spiel?" Christopher greeted her wit with a bemused glance. "Give an old man a break, will you? I'm sure he won't mind my taking over just this once. Besides, he did ask me to give you this-" Pulling the trademark comm. pin from his pocket, he tagged lightly into her shirt. "Don't lose it." He smirked at her predictable eyeroll.

"Chris…" The smirk dropped into a cautious frown as he saw her smile fade. "I want to thank you for everything you've done for me." Her words paused, and he could see the glimmer of tears collecting in her eyes. Two solid hands found her arms, silently offering support. "You've been the only family I've had for so long, and I don't where I would be without you." Immediately, his hands pulled her into his chest, silencing her needless words. "Katie." He breathed her name into her hair, pressing a gentle kiss into the top of her scalp. "I'm always going to be here. I want you to know that. It doesn't matter how far away you go." She nodded into his chest. Taking a step back, Pike caught her face between two hands and placed a final kiss upon her forehead. "You're not getting rid of me, whether you like it or not."

Her laugh dissolved the tension in the air.

"Promise?"

He nodded and then gestured towards the door. "Come on, Kiddo. Let's get some food in you." The Admiral and the newly appointed Commander exited her quarters in sync, striding briskly towards the mess hall. Her with her head held high, and he with an internal sense of conflicting joy and sadness.

"And 'ere we've got your state of the art warp cores, with some custom improvements made by yours truly…" Montgomery Scott's enthusiastic voice rang out amongst the dull hum of the room. Unsure of the majority of what the man was saying, though thoroughly amused by his dramatic recount, Kathryn slipped a deft hand over her mouth in an attempt to disguise a wayward yawn.

"Careful. Don't let him catch on that you're bored senseless. You'll send him off into one of his spiels." Leonard McCoy's breath tickled her ear, the unexpected advice causing her posture to bolt upright. A hand found the small of her back and steadied the new recruit without rising suspicion. Katie's peripheral vision caught his smirk of amusement, the doctor no doubt proud of himself for catching her lapse of attention.

"It's not that I'm not…interested, I just didn't sleep well last night." His knowing glance elicited an impatient sigh. "Fine. That and I'm utterly lost." McCoy shrugged before whispering back. "Well, maybe someone should have paid more attention in class." Kathryn's slender figure turned to face him at the taunt, her arms folding across her chest in a challenge.

"This from the wingman of Jim Kirk, Boytoy extraordinaire?"

Leonard's mouth opened to retort, only to find itself silenced by a hollered chastisement.

"Come on you lot! I'm not waiting around for diddly daddlers!" The Enterprise's head engineer stood at the end of the platform, waving in an ushering motion. 

"Coming, Scotty!" Katie greeted his order with a wide smile, but not before shooting a look of devilish triumph towards her challenger. Walking briskly to her fellow redhead's side, she turned her gaze back to Leo, smile in tact. "Come on McCoy, don't want to get left behind, do you?" The pair exited into the nearest hallway before the head doctor had a hope of responding. Not quite beyond earshot, he could still her the murmur of their conversation.

"So, you said its Kathryn, yea, Doctor?" Her soft laughter wafted in. "Yes, but you can go ahead and call me Katie. Most people do."

"Unbelievable." Shaking his head in amusement, Leonard sighed and followed suit.

_That woman is going to be the death of me. _

Hours later, with her tour now mostly complete, Kathryn found herself alone within her quarters, McCoy having promised to return shortly and accompany her to bridge. Her feet traced a repetitive pattern on the floor, the only sign of her lingering nerves. Yes, Katie was pleased with how everything seemed to be progressing. She was confident with her knowledge of the ship's layout, content with her quarters, and though she hadn't been to the Medbay yet, Leo had promised her she'd find it easy to navigate as well.

_So, as long as things go well on the bridge…I guess I'm in the clear. _A small smile parted her lips. Maybe she had made the right choice. Not that it mattered now, seeing as the ship had disengaged from the space dock some time ago. Space. It was so odd to think she was here.

_I never imagined it being so beautiful._

Kathryn had been speechless at the sight of it, even more so when she realized it was now her home. _Chris was right. This is exactly what I needed. _She felt…free. It was bizarrely comforting to know that she was among a crew that had no knowledge of her past. Here, she could be Kathryn. Nothing more and nothing less, and certainly not the wounded young woman everyone had come to see her as.

_It's a clean slate, Katie. This is what you've been waiting for, so make the most of it._

A small buzz indicated McCoy had arrived. Crossing the floor, Kathryn exited into the hallway, where he met her in a uniform that matched her own. She had to admit, the blue suited him well.

"Commander Page, are you ready to report to the Bridge?" His taller frame stood in front of hers, his arms crossed behind his back in a casual, yet authoritative manner.

"As ready as I'll ever be, Doctor." Katie looked up at him, and for the first time he took in the sight of his second in command. The deep blue of their shared uniform added an almost shimmer to her piercing eyes, and played well against the paleness of her skin. The fiery locks that drew instant attention were pulled back elegantly.

_It's a damn good thing she opted for the pants. Jim would hound her mercilessly if she'd shown off those legs._

He frowned at his thoughts.

_Stay focused, man._

"Alright then, Red. Let's not keep your Captain waiting any longer, shall we?" McCoy stood to the side and allowed her to pass with a gentlemanly extending of his arm. "After you." Following behind, he watched her slender form approach the nearest lift, and then pause to wait for him. The entered inside at the same time, and within moments the doors parted to reveal a surprisingly quiet Bridge.

"Bones!" Jim Kirk stood immediately from his chair and clapped his friend on the back warmly. "We were wondering when you were going to show up with the fresh me-" Kirk's words died in his throat as Kathryn exited behind the doctor.

"Captain." She met his stunned expression with a warm smile. "You're looking well." The dry humor lurking in her tone elicited a poorly hidden laugh from the chief doctor, earning him a sharp glare.

_We'll see if you're laughing the next time I send Spock down for an early checkup, Doctor._

"Doctor Page, what a pleasure to have you aboard!" The moment of tension passed as quickly as it had arrived. Jim extended a warm hand to take hers, and then lead her to an assembled line of uniformed officers. "Gentlemen and lady, this is Doctor Page. She will be relieving Commander Spock of his science officer duties shortly." Turning back to Kathryn he held out his free hand and gestured "These will be your Bridgemates, once you assume the post of science officer." Freeing her hand from his, Katie greeted them with a smile smile.

"You're already familiar with Bones." Jim gestured to McCoy who responded with a bored shrug. "This is Helmsman Hiraku Sulu," A small Asian greeted her with a friendly nod "Esign Pavel Chekov, our navigator," Chekov, who couldn't have been older than nineteen offered her a wide smile. "Pleased to meet you, Doctor!" Katie found herself charmed both by the thick Russian accent and boyish enthusiasm before Kirk announced the next crewmember, a striking young woman dressed in red. "And this, is Officer Uhura, whose talented tongue makes her our communication's expert." Kathryn couldn't help a surprised eyebrow from rising.

"Jim!" The Captain shrugged casually, ignoring her obvious reprieve. "It's Nyota." The young woman smiled warmly at her, and followed suit by shooting a glare at her Captain. "Don't mind him, he's all talk." Laughing softly, Kathryn found herself distracted by a small inner nagging.

_Someone's missing, aren't they?_ It took her another moment to identify the absent rank. _First Officer…_ Almost as though reading her mind, Jim returned to her side and smiled.

"Commander Spock will be here shortly. I'm sure he will be _fascinated_ to meet you." Sensing her confusion at Jim's offhand humor, Leonard stepped in to offer a brief explanation. Leaning in to disclose his insight privately, he whispered into her ear. "Spock is rather…interesting. Don't take it personally if he doesn't warm up to you right away." Nodding her understanding Katie found her gaze drawn to the infinite expanse of stars passing by the ship's view.

_Commander Spock. _The name was familiar. If she recalled correctly, Spock was one of the academy's prized students, and later professors. She had read some of his works as a student. _I think he created that damn Kobyashi Muru test. _The young doctor's nose wrinkled for a moment. The test had certainly not been her most pleasant experience as a cadet. Still, she supposed it had its merit.

The barely audible ding of the lift doors went unnoticed by Katie, who was far too lost in memories to notice the approach of a lean Vulcan onto the Bridge. 

"My apologies Captain, I was delayed by a pressing matter."

Kathryn froze in her spot, facing away from the new arrival.

_That voice_.._._

"It's fine, Spock. There's someone I'd like you to meet." Kirk's jubilant voice seemed lost in the murky fog that was beginning to cloud her mind. Spinning slowly on her heels, Kathryn drank in the sight of a man her senses screamed was familiar.

_No, no, no! There is no way it's him! No way!_

Her mind did a poor job of lying to itself.

"Doctor Page, this is Commander Spock, first officer and acting science officer."

_Perhaps she does not remember, and Admiral Pike's concerns were for naught._

Then, Spock's eyes found hers. The color seeped slowly from her face as he nodded curtly in acknowledgement. "Doctor."

_No, not now!_

His face brought back so many memories, so many emotions, all at once. Inwardly, Kathryn could feel herself being assaulted with unwelcome reminders of her past. Her mind was vaguely aware of Jim Kirk speaking in the background, but in that moment there was only them. Before her stood the only being who had observed the most devastating moment of her life. He had watched her parents die and held her while Kathryn had felt her own life struggling to survive. The intimacy this granted him was not warranted. It was _her_ pain. _Her _struggle. Not his.

_How dare he. How dare he put me on a ship with him._

Kathryn's heart seethed with unexpected vulnerability. Her mind overflowed with recollections, and though mere moments passed, they were long enough for the entire scene to play through again. Then, something else peppered at her thoughts: flashes of a memory strangely foreign, a woman's scream. For the briefest of seconds she saw a sign of anguish flash across the Vulcan's face, and her gaze finally broke from his in a stunned silence. Only then was she ware of the tension that permeated throughout the room. All eyes were locked on the officers, their confusion evident. Clearing her throat, Kathryn returned his sharp nod.

"Commander." Her voice cracked with hoarseness. _I have to get out of here. _Throwing her gaze to McCoy, Katie addressed him in an evasive attempt. "Doctor McCoy, I believe it's time I met the medical staff." Striding past Spock, she moved to the surprised doctor's side.

"Of course, I'll take you there now…" Leonard's eyes found Jim's with a shared question. Sensing his friend's lack of understanding, he turned his attention back to the small female and led her to the elevator. As the pair disappeared behind its doors, the Captain claimed his chair and crossed his legs in contemplation. The thought that echoed through his mind resounded amongst his fellow witnesses simultaneously.

_What the hell was that?_


	6. Aftermath

_Surprise! I'm not dead! I'm sorry for such a long absence. I know this is the part where everyone is all like "I got eaten by a bear, and I was dead so it took me forever to update", but my "excuse" if you will is far less exciting. Basically, I got caught up in real life the last little (long) while, and I sort of lost my momentum with the story. However, I by no means have given up on it, and I promise that I will try to get back into a decent updating schedule when I can. As a fair warning, I am in school right now, and I have a lot of heavy assignments coming up now through the end of March, and then I have finals until the end of April, so I'm not going to promise you guys massive updates between now and then. I'm not trying to discourage anyone from reading, because I will update, but I don't want to frustrate anyone by giving unrealistic expectations. I read a lot of stories on here, and I know how exciting it can be to see a new update, and every once and a while it can get disappointing when it seems like the author 'disappears' for a while in the middle of their story. However, as someone who is now writing their first fanfic and juggling a busy schedule, I am definitely more sympathetic. So, I want you guys to know that I will do my best to keep updates decently spaced, but as I've said before, I will never "push out a chapter" just for the sake of getting one up. I like to take pride in what I write, so I'd rather take a long time and put something out that I feel proud of rather than just filling up a lot of empty space. Anyways, I'd love to hear what you guys think of the new chapter and where you think the story is/should head. Feel free to drop me a note, and sorry for the loooong wait for this installment!_

_Alluring Masquerade_

Kathryn's entire being reeled as she and McCoy spilled into the corridor leading to the medical bay. Her mind spun and her stomach wanted nothing more than to wretch from the emotional sucker punch it had just been dealt. The encounter, brief as it had been, had had nothing short of a volatile effect on the young woman. A guttural scream rotted in her throat, but aware of the confines of her position it remained silenced. _Why won't the wailing stop!_ Then her feet stopped on what she thought was their own accord until Kathryn became aware of two firm hands grasping her arms.

"Commander-Kathryn!" Bones had a look that communicated both concern and bafflement. He'd been shouting after her since they'd left the bridge to no response. His second in command had stumbled from the lift and had traveled in complete silence. The blood had left her features, and if Leonard hadn't known better he could have sworn that he was looking at a member of the walking dead. "What the hell is going on?" She seemed, then, to finally register his voice, though with his face as close as it was to her own he was surprised she hadn't done so earlier. He peered deep into the depths of her ice blue orbs and noted that her pupils had retracted to the size of a pinhead. The skin beneath his hands felt cold, even under her uniform. Everything about the girl read..._terror. But why?_

"Nothing. It's…Nothing." The answer was distant, and they both knew it. Leonard's intense gaze didn't falter as he drew himself what seemed to be impossibly closer to his fellow doctor. Fear was fading from her gaze now, only to be replaced by a terrible mournfulness. "Come on, Red…you know about how well that bullshit works on physicians." His admonishment was soft, a fact for which he'd have to berate himself over later. Leonard McCoy didn't do soft. Yet here he was, his hands gently traveling to the shoulders of the young woman in front of him. He waited with an uncharacteristic patience, all the while maintaining eye contact with the young doctor, knowing from the far off stare that her mind was elsewhere. "Kathryn?"

At last the life in her eyes filter in to abate the haunted emptiness he'd been staring at for what seemed like an eternity. For the first time, Leonard noticed what he thought were flecks of pale green somewhere in the depths of her irises, then cleared his throat to rid himself of the distraction. "What just happened?" Her brow furrowed ever so slightly, and the small breath Katie inhaled to answer died upon her lips, forcing her to shake her head and then look down in quiet confusion.

"I don't know."

The whisper of her tone told him that the answer was as much for her benefit as it was for his. "Listen, Kathryn, I need you to tell me…I can't let you serve the crew if I'm not sure you're in an able state, you know that." His voice was low, attempting to keep the statement as understanding as possible. He was first and foremost the chief medical officer aboard this ship, and it was his duty to ensure that his crew would be properly taken care of. A sentiment he didn't doubt his younger counterpart shared.

"Leo," Her gaze rose slightly to meet his, and only then did she notice their closeness. Stepping gently out from under his grasp on her shoulders, Katie sighed softly. "I'm fine." A careful smile began to part her lips, apology written over her face. An apology for the half-truth she was about to offer. "The last week has been fairly draining, and I think I just had a moment of being incredibly overwhelmed. I'm sorry if I had you worried, but I promise you, I'm okay." Leonard couldn't help but think the reassuring nod she offered was once again for dual benefit. Nor could he help but think she wasn't telling him everything_. _ "Come with me." Katie cocked a silent eyebrow in curiosity, but followed swiftly as the head doctor led them both into the medbay, and then into a more sequestered room, away from any prying ears. Waving her into a seat, Leonard leaned against one of the gurney's folding his hand across his broad chest.

"This is about as calm as it's gonna get on this ship, Red, so I need you to be completely straight with me; I can't make you tell me what happened back there, but if you can't promise me that whatever it was won't happen again, I'm obligated to go to Kirk and seek further investigation." A frustrated sigh left his lungs and he ran a calloused hand through his hair. "So, I'm going to ask you one more time, what's going on?"

Katie stared at the man before her, feeling very much like a child being lectured by their parent. It was then that she realized just how annoyed she currently was with Christopher Pike. There wasn't a chance in hell that the Admiral hadn't known exactly what he was doing. She had trusted that he was giving her an opportunity to move forward with her life, not that he was going to thrust her back into confronting her past. _And now my boss apparently thinks I'm fucking crazy. Not that I can say I blame him. _Still, as angry as she wanted to be with Pike, Katie couldn't move past the feelings of confusion over her recent encounter. Now that the rawness of the sudden assault had begun to wear off, the young doctor couldn't understand her reaction. That, however, would have to wait.

"Leonard,"

McCoy watched as the petite woman pulled herself from the chair with an amount of grace that was surprising, given her prior state. Her soft smile, and the confidence behind it surprised him further. "Listen to me, please." When those ridiculously stunning eyes locked with his, the Southern gentleman knew he was in trouble. "I know I haven't exactly given you any reason to believe me, but all I can do is promise you that I'm fine. I was clearly…" She paused for a moment, searching for the right words in her justification, "Caught off guard earlier, but I would hope that after all the time you've spent observing me recently that you know how seriously I take my job." The elder man shrugged in hesitant confirmation, his sense of trouble growing ever moment. He'd expected her to bite back, but instead…instead she had to be so damn _innocent_ looking. "I swear to you, I would never put the people on this ship in danger by trying to take my position if I wasn't ready for it." The soft plea in her voice began to ebb against his over-exercised caution. Even if something _had_ clearly happened, Leonard believed her words fully. He sucked in a low breath as she continued. "I'm here to do the best damn job that I can, and I want you to trust me when I say that."

"I do." McCoy breathed the answer with a hint of defeated irritation before pushing himself off the gurney and walking towards her. "I'll take your word for it Commander," He paused and briefly debated if he should add some sort of warning to his statement. His eyes scanned Kathryn briefly, and finding no trace of falter in her stance, Leonard decided against it. While he was by no means stupid enough to not realize there was something more complicated at work, he had to concede to the fact that boarding one's first Starship as a crew member wasn't exactly a picnic for the nerves. Still, everything he'd observed in Kathryn so far gave him no reason to doubt her abilities, though he'd keep a closer eye on her for the next while. After a few moments of silence between the pair, Leonard cleared his throat and sighed.

"Alright then, come with me and I'll introduce you to the medical staff. It's time we got you acquainted with the medbay. Lord knows how long we've got till people start pourin' in."

* * *

High above the medical bay, lost amongst the typical din of the bridge's operations, Spock stared deeply into the vast darkness they navigated through. Hidden deep beneath his perfectly stoic features, his heart raced in his chest, a voice he had not heard in years ringing in his ears. A voice he had loved distorted into a horrific final piercing cry. Rage and sorrow ran rampant through his veins, his Vulcan blood taunting his inability to save the only thing that made him human. Amanda Grayson's final moments played on a reel in his mind, unwarranted and unwanted, and for all of his control, Spock could not stop the barrage upon his innermost self. His eyes shut for the briefest of moments, and were anyone perceptive enough, they might have caught the smallest of exhales from the Vulcan. Standing swiftly, Spock made his way to the Captain's chair, where Jim Kirk sat comfortably sprawled.

"Captain."

Jim turned the chair slightly and rolled his eyes in his typical dramatic fashion. "Come on, now Spock, what'd I say about this whole "Captain" business?" For a moment the Captain's eyes narrowed. "Is everything alright?" Spock's features remained utterly devoid of emotion as he nodded in curt response. "Of course, Captai-Jim. Everything is fine. I merely wish to inform you that I have some matters to attend to elsewhere on the ship. I was unable to complete them earlier due to the arrival of Doctor Page, and now would be a sufficient time for their completion." Jim frowned with an unspoken suspicion and then shrugged. "Sure. Go ahead." Spock nodded silently and pivoted swiftly to make his exit. He was aware of the Captain's eye trailing him to the lift, but showed no reaction, as he rarely did. Pressing the manual override as the lift began its descent, Spock took a deep breath, and surrounded by much needed silence, finally forced the rampant emotions into submission, at least temporarily. He would have to meditate that evening, such loss of control would only worsen if he did not, and that was not a viable option. His mind briefly turned to Kathryn as he reinstated the lift's power. Her presence was now a source of profound confusion, one he intended to rectify sooner than later. The question that pounded in his head had to be answered at his earliest convenience.

_What has she done to me?_


	7. Intrusions

_I'm baaaack! I've got a new sense of direction with the story, and I can't wait to spend more time working on it. Consider this a teaser of all the fun to come. Katie and the rest of the crew will be back next chapter! As always, feel free to leave suggestions and comments, I love them!_

_Super stoked for XII too! Benedict Cumberbatch as the villain? AWESOME!_

_-AM_

_Mother._

Spock sparse quarters surrounded the Vulcan as the familiar scent of his meditation incense wafted through the air. It had been three hours since he'd begun his attempt to meditate, to purge his mind of the chaos that had so instantaneously taken over. Her memory would not allow him to do so.

_Mother. I have failed you._

Spock felt his fists make contact with the coolness of the floor as he bent forward, pushing his forehead against them. He was aware of the suddenness wetness of his eyes. His face twisted into the most muted resemblance of a self-disgusted sneer. Swiftly, he pulled himself to his feet and immediately extinguished the candle he'd lit for focus. These emotions were…_unbidden_.

_Mother._ _Mother, I have failed you once again. I have failed to honor you. I have failed to remember you, as I should have._

Spock began to pace, every muscle tightening, desperately fighting against the weakened self-control the remained. He had never forgotten his mother. The notion caused an involuntary shudder. It would be impossible to do so. But the moments that passed between each recollection of her had grown farther in between. So much had transpired since then, so much had required his attention: his duties, his love for another woman, his friendships. The Vulcan brought himself to a halt in front of a bookcase, one of the few items of décor his quarters held. Reaching out, his hands braced themselves against the structure, depending upon it for support as his head dipped ever so slightly.

It angered him. It angered him to realize that her memory was growing less present in his life. It angered him to realize that he could not control this phenomenon, and most of all it angered him that a part of himself knew that it was acceptable.

_How? How can it possibly be acceptable to do her such a disservice? _

Her own words, spoken to him years before gave him his answer.

_"Spock. As always, whatever you choose to be, you will have a proud mother."_

It had meant more than he had chosen to convey at the time. Spock's eyes closed, his mind fully embracing every sensual nuance of the memory. A warm comfort, one that he couldn't help but feel was undeserved began to calm his emotions. Exhaling softly, Spock pulled himself back to his full height and turned to survey his room in thought. The absence of his mother, as difficult as it was, was not something that should have evoked such an instantaneous outpouring of emotion. It was something Spock had spent countless hours meditating upon, handling the grief it created with the greatest of care. That he had nearly lost control so suddenly was almost inconceivable. Now, with logic slowly dulling the searing pain that had overtaken him earlier, the Vulcan found his mind wandering back to the bridge, to the very moment he had felt his control slipping.

_The girl. _

An unexpected whisper of revelation pulled Kathryn to his mind. Spock delved through his memory to recount the exact details of their earlier encounter, mere moments before his mother's voice had overtaken his consciousness. _How could she possibly be related?_ _She was, of course, startled to see me, even visibly unsettled._ The first officer recalled the image of the blood rapidly draining from her features as they had locked eyes, and the plethora of feelings her gaze had held. None of which he had been able to identify. His brow lowered minutely, curious as to why his mind seemed to think this relevant. It was the occurrence that had happened immediately after that held his interest. Not, this.

_Her discomfort will fade eventually, and I shall seek to address it at a more approp-_ Spock froze as an abrupt influx of sensations began flood over his being. His heart began to elevate to a steady rapid pace, as though he had undertaken some form of physical exertion. Confused, he stumble, once again grappling for the support of the bookcase as more foreign senses began to assault his own. He could hear panting, but with a perplexed raise of his brow, he realized it was not his own. The smell of sweat mingled with the incense that still hung in the air, despite his being completely dry.

_I do not understand-_

Spock felt his legs buckle beneath him as he slowly slid to the floor, pressing his back against the wall. Closing his eyes, the first officer attempted to regain control over the situation, only to find echoes of another's voice invading his thoughts.

"_He knew exactly what he was doing. Of course he did. How could he not? It's not like anything gets past his damn watch."_

Spock found himself struggling to push himself free of the outsider's influence. Then, a rapid succession of images began to flash in his mind. What looked to be the ship's gymnasium, a pair of hands he did not recognize, a bag swinging backwards.

"_Yet I'm not mad at him. He probably knows it too, the bastard."_

The image of Christopher Pike filtered into his mental vision, and the rush of unbridled affection associated with the man identified the mental intruder immediately.

_Kathryn?_

From somewhere deep inside himself, he felt the young woman pause momentarily, almost as if she had heard him. Then, Spock experienced what could only be described as a mental exhale, and the intrusion ended as abruptly as it had begun. Remaining on the floor, the Vulcan took a breath as his heart rate began to resettle into its regular pattern. Very much aware of the silence of his quarters, Spock stared mindlessly ahead, all of his logic failing to provide an adequate explanation for what had just transpired.


End file.
